It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.

It isn't really, The Scientist by Coldplay came on my Spotify, and just as I clicked "New Post", that lyric was sung, so I decided to use that. Yes, it's not very imaginative, yes it sounds fairly melancholy and yes, this is probably going to be a fairly meaningless blog, but you'll have to deal with it. I mean, no one concentrates on the blog titles anyway...right? Actually, scratch that. I have a better title from the previous one "It's such a shame for us to part."

Sadly, 2009 is a matter of weeks before it's curtain call, and, thankfully the year has been a much improved one, given the disaster that was last year (there's a link there, by the by), all culminating in what should be a hell of a finale. Christmas is 10 days away - those of you who haven't seen my wish list, see here. New Year shortly follows where I will aim to be so pyjama'd, I will forget what I did on New Years Eve so badly, that the guys behind The Hangover will be envious. Well, maybe not that bad, considering rohipnol was involved in their outing. Anyway, it should be one immense couple of weeks leading up to January 1, and I bloody well hope so.

Unfortunately, I completely forgot about this post until I was bored, went on Twitter (that useless piece of tripe that I've suddenly taken a liking too), saw that Barack Obama (yes, I'm following the Man himself) had written a blog, didn't read that and took the initiative to write my own, soon remembering that this one has been in the works for weeks. Silly me, I know many of you have desperately been clicking refresh on this page since my last post.

Well, seen as so far this blog has had many links to other sites on the World Wide Web, I'm not going to start with another one. New Year was a success, I think. And what I set out to do, was partially achieved - everything after around 1:30 AM is almost a complete blur, with waking up at 9:30 being the next thing I remember. Blimey, I wasn't expecting to get that drunk, I originally said I'd do that as a whimsical comment. Ho hum.

Continuing in reverse chronological order, Boxing Day was also a success, though the final result wasn't so much a success. I woke up at 11 ish AM in one of the numerous beds at the Farm my Grandparents on my Father's side live at, expecting a fairly normal day whereas I get to "play", per se, with my latest batch of Christmas gifts and the like. My younger brother stormed in, exclaiming "We're going to see Chelsea! We're going to see Chelsea!". Naturally, I didn't believe a single word that came out of his evil little mouth, and promptly returned to the land of nod. It wasn't until my sister stormed in, exclaiming in a much more serious voice, "Rhys, if you want to go see Chelsea, get your fat arse out of bed and get dressed." Now that I can believe. Ten minutes later, I was sat in the car on the way to St. Andrews, the home of Birmingham City FC. Boredom ensued throughout the 47 minute journey (I didn't time it, it was roughly 45 minutes, but 45 sounds too neat and perfect, and being the crazy person I am, I opted for 47), until we reached Birmingham itself. We drove around for 10 minutes searching for a Car Parking Space that incidentally we drove passed around 5 times, before eventually parking in it. We walked over to the stadium, and watched the match. It finished 0-0. We drove him, and so ends the latest chapter in that immensely successful book "Really Badly-written Jaunts".

And now, the main event. In the red corner, Rhys Bowen Jones. In the blue corner, a pile of Christmas gifts. There really was only going to be one winner. Until the pile of Christmas gifts combined almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the way the Transformers do. I joke. Yes, the young man from a village (is Llantwit Fardre a village?) in South Wales, successfully managed to open all of his presents successfully. They contained everything I asked for, with some extra bits and bobs to surprise and confuse us all. The highlight of my gifts? There really is only one winner. Not the aftershave. Not the cassette tape socks. Yes, the tickets to see a master at work. One, Peter Kay. I can almost feel the jealousy seeping through you all now.

As I wrote the title, something occurred to me. I don't think I've filled you all in on October 27th. The night, if you've all kept tabs on my more recent blogs, I witnessed a Green Day gig on that night. 6 words. The. Best. Night. Of. My. Life. Simple as that. They performed for nearly 3 hours, it was spellbinding. Mesmerising. Nothing, I doubt, will ever beat that night, unless I go see them again, or I suddenly gain millions upon millions of pounds. The former more probable than the latter.

The Infinite Improbability Drive would come in handy there, methinks.

2009, was epic. 2010? Give me the best you've got.

Dear lovable reader...

When I woke up this morning, something occurred to me. I hadn't written a blog in weeks. Weeks. That's longer than those blasted adverts on Dave. So here it is, the blog that hasn't been in the pipeline for a while, and yet, it's here. How lucky you technological people are.

What's occurred in the past weeks? Well, school's gotten very, very enjoyable. I'm enjoying French a lot, translating is the most fun I've had in Gwenllian's lessons in a while (Gwenllian Rees, the most pathetic teacher in the history of human kind), even though I'm not particularly good at it. History, well half of it, is good, and our coursework is on the verge of commencing. I have no idea where to begin, but begin it shall, one way or another. And Drama, well I'm surprisingly enough enjoying both halves of Drama, but only because "Lysh" (a drama by some alcoholic) is good. Menna is still the douche (yes, I said the. Not "a". The.), but the drama is good, so I'll make sacrifices. Electra, I hated to start off with, mostly because I just didn't get it. The language is really old and complicated, but with persistence comes gratitude (have I just invented another "no pain, no gain" style phrase?), and I'm starting to understand it much more. The story is insanely simple, but the way it's written isn't, so I was a bit flustered. But all's well, so that's a plus.

And in my hardly classed as a social life? Well, there was that...interesting...party at Lowri Prince's, which involved me drinking first a strange concoction of Ribena, Coca Cola and Vodka, which at the time was nice, but on hindsight was absolutely revolting, a fair bit of Apple Sours (which I have now gone off completely) and then me stupidly drinking half a bottle of straight vodka. Never, ever again. Clearly, hilarity did not ensue, and I shan't fill you in on the details. But, it did involve me spending three hours in a toilet, 2 and a half of which, sleeping in the toilet bowl. See if you can guess what that missing half an hour involved. No prizes for guessing correctly.

To finish and to lighten up the mood a hell of a lot, Christmas is just 39 days away. 39! Firstly, where the bloody hell has the year gone? It feels like just yesterday I was picking up my AS results ("the smile seeped across my face..." *cringe*), and now it's approaching 2010, the most important exams of my life are a matter of months away. But before that, I have exciting news. After the constant barrage of whining from teachers about UCAS, my form has been completed. A while ago, in all honesty. But, that now means that I have received not one, but two offers. The first was from Reading, which I was elated about, as it's my 3rd choice, asking for 300 UCAS points (or BBB). The second was from Nottingham. Those of you who have been reading my blogs should be aware that Nottingham is my first choice. If I was elated at Reading giving me an offer, imagine my surprise seeing the word "Conditional" next to "The University of Nottingham". They've asked for ABC, with an A in French. It's do-able, but it'll be bloody hard work. I can do it, I just have to actually work, as opposed to fluking the AS's. Come on, RBJ.

And for you inquisitive people, my 5 year old brain has made a Christmas list. Oh yes. Here it is, for your viewing.

Games
Assassin’s Creed 2
Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters – PSP
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games – Wii

DVDs
Star Trek
The Hangover
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley! – Live

Xbox
20G Hard Drive – Xbox 360
Wireless Network Adapter – Xbox 360
Headset – Xbox 360

Read it. Take it all in. Now, take one of those gifts, go to Amazon, and purchase it. Much appreciated.

That last bit was clearly a joke, and I don't expect anyone to get me a gift this Christmas, and don't want anyone to get me anything (other than my parents, naturally).

Regards,
Rhys Bowen Jones.

P.S. This bloh as been a month in the waiting. A month. I didn't realise I'd kept you on tenderhooks that long. Apologies, reader.
P.P.S. "This bloh". Hahahaha.

Tea and Hot Cross Buns make not very good blogging.

Seen as my last effort as posting was rather lame and lasted about 5 seconds, I had an urge to convey the latest feelings that have crossed my mind, the major incidents of the past weeks, and whatever else pops into my mind in the next 38 mins (I'm on the mother's laptop with no battery charger available at the present time).

And so it begins. Over the past month or so, I have been to 2 parties, a 3rd will take place in just under 24 hours, and, truth be told, drunkeness has occured both times. And fair play, I adore it. My mum keeps whittering on about me being sick once after a Sixth Form party last year, when I've been drunk 5 times. So being sick once is a cause for panic? Anyhow, both parties were of the epic variety. I think the first party (an 18th birthday) contained much more drink than the second, meaning my intoxication was much larger, but both were just awesome. And the biggest discovery of both those parties? I got served. Both times. The most impressive was the latter party, due to many being ID'd, besides yours truly. My apologies for bragging, but I'm still dumbfounded today. Intoxication makes me laugh, and seeing as I was complimented for the fact that I'm, I quote, "awesome when I'm drunk", I see that as a success. Aplogies once again.

In other news, good television has returned to our screens as big as Robbie Williams' come back performance on the X Factor...back with a bang and high as a kite. I really don't know if that makes any sense at all, but I had to mention Robbie Williams being high on live TV at some point. Yes, Fringe has returned, and a new current sensation, FlashForward, has just begun. And both are excellent. Fringe is brilliant anyway, but for sadly predictable endings in both episodes so far. FlashForward is different, and it's very, very good. Opening up so many different questions in the first 3 episodes, reminiscent of Lost, the other superb ABC Network programme, which by the by, is fast approaching it's final series, which begins in January 2010, something that will undoubtedly confuse and grip us all, right to it's last seconds. I hope. Oh, I almost forgot, True Blood, a (sort of) new vampire drama has started on Channel 4, and I'm as hooked as a fish being caught with a...well, hook. Damn, my imagination isn't working today.

Remaining with television, Heroes should also return soon, and in a shock twist that's utterly brilliant, Hayden Panettierre will have a lesbian relationship. Victory.

With 19 minutesand 14% remaining on the batter, I will bid yee good day, after another rather limp attempt at blogging. I should hope to be intoxicated once more in around 23 hours, oh yes.

Fare thee well, young grasshopper.

Insatiable, inflatable you.

Apologies for the more than random title. There is a reason for it, don't you worry. I have recently (very recently, as recently as around 12 o' clock this afternoon in fact) been introduced to a man named Tim Minchin. You may not have heard of him, I hadn't, but I find this one song, absolutely hilarious.



Back to normality. How long has it been since my last post? 8 days? Something like that, and nothing has really happened, but I thought I'd fill you in on the minor details.

The group in which I am part of has decided to make the venture to Ibiza next summer, which I am bloomin' excited for. It's a week in a different country, away from prying parents, with almost complete freedom. Crackin' stuff. And we have a plan. A plan that was conjured by myself and Ffion (partially) to go to the Waterpark in Ibiza...drunk. How abolsutely bloody hilarious would that be? I'd love it, and can't wait for it!

In other news, Chelsea beat Liverpool 2-0. Win.

And I honestly think that's it. Except for the holiday and that Electra (what we're studying in Drama) is the most confusing drama in history and am finding it impossible to get my head around, it's been a terribly uneventful week.

Crib, anyone?

The voice in my head said so.

With Sixth Form swinging in full swing, I thought it was time to fill all my avid readers (ahem) about the latest shenanigans that have bequeathed the world of Sixth Form in the past weeks, with excruciating detail that Stephanie Meyer would envy.

The post that has most recently graced your computer screen was one on the subject of Nottingham University, and how it has taken it's spot as the gold medal winner in the marathon that was getting yours truly into our University. And I would just like to clarify Nottingham's victory, one final time.

NOTTINGHAM FOR THE VICTORY.

Moving as swiftly forward as Usain Bolt succeeding in catching what he thought was his missed bus.

Now, where to begin? My A Levels have gotten into gear 5 already - except for the Menna Lewis half of my Drama course, where we haven't even started. History is as interesting as ever, with the Third Reich being the main character in my upcoming coursework, played by the main man himself, Peter Griffin. Yes, I have decided to write my coursework in the style of Peter Griffin*, with the inclusion of flashbacks that coincide with the context of the pre-written sentence.

I would like you the reader to know that 5 minutes has passed since I wrote the last word of that paragraph. The whole time spent trying to think of a Peter Griffin-ism that would undoubtedly make you chuckle, either in your head, or out loud. Sadly, no such hilarious moment has passed...like that time I was a stand-up comedian. Gah, it took me a long while to think of that, and I didn't even chuckle myself, although you shouldn't really laugh at your own jokes, even though I nearly always do. Like that time tod... - I'll stop.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the coursework. We've been looking at different...oh god, I've forgotten what ffynhonnellau is in English (I'm actually serious, I can't remember)...sources! Got you in the end, you sneaky word that escaped me**. Yes, we've been looking at sources and evaluating them and thinking how useful they may or may not be in our essay. Which, by the way, has to be 4000 words. 4000 words! That's...mental arithmetic (or mathemateg pen for you lucky bilingualites) coming in handy here...double a 2000 word essay! Hard does not come into the same bracket on this one. Difficult*** fits the bill, I think.

Stumbling forward like a drunkard, we've finally started reading one of our two Drama's - Electra - but we didn't get very far, due to one of the character's names. The name was Clutomnestra. Take your time to figure out why that caused us to not get very far in the play itself. I'm not going to bore you with a rant about Menna Lewis (in this post...a sequel to this post will follow in the coming weeks) but, I will say that Manon Edwards is, in my book, possibly the coolest teacher ever. That's probably why I don't like Menna Lewis actually, due to Manon Edwards being so cool, but Menna Lewis has always been an annoyance in Rhydfelen.

French. My final, and most important subject, due to this being the subject I am desperately keen to study further to University level (a sentence for my personal statement, or?), and we've started by...

--Advert break--

And now, the Sudoku Forecast.

6, 3, 8, 4, 7, 1, 9, 2 and 5.

That was the Sudoku Forecast.

--Voice over man-- Yes, we stop and put our weather on in the middle of things now, because we're ITV, and we can. Welcome back to post 23, an extract from the upcoming book, Mindless Blogging, by Rhys Bowen Jones.

...finding out that we're to study a book, a play and a number of themes involving the Media World. The book is called L'Etranger (The Outsider) about a man named Mersault who kills a man accidentally, gets arrested, sentenced to death and dies. The play is called Les Mains Sales (Crime Passionnel is the English title, but the French title literally translates to Dirty Hands), which is also about a death or a murder, but is much more interesting and tense than L'Etranger, due to it actually being well written (yes, I'm talking to you, Albert Camus). On the plus side, my French Grammar is gradually improving having discovered my Bible, in the form of a French Grammar book.

Now, I think that's just about as much as you'd like to read, am I right? My insanely random insights will naturally confuse and mind-boggle you all, but I hope you've had fun reading this post, because I know I did. We'll see what the coming months of Sixth Form life behold for this blogger. We'll see.

Said the blind man.

*I'm not actually going to write it in the style of Peter Griffin by the by, any such fool doing so would immediately get a zero. Or one mark for creativity. Or the Peter Griffin-ism being underlined by the examiner and writing "wtf?" along side it. Now that, I'd love to see.
** My my, I'm going off on all different tangents in this one, aren't I? I don't know why I'm doing it, I'm literally writing what comes into my head at that moment...Fish. Ahh, stop it!
*** I have to apologise for my rather zany humour. I thought that was quite amusing myself, but the chances are no one will actually see my joke...

Things have just become so much clearer.

Remember my blog about my hopeful Universities? Well, that blog has now lost complete relevance. My top 3 at that point were Bath, Nottingham and Oxford. One of those has vanished off the list completely, and the other has dropped into fourth place behind two new candidates. But, these new candidates have also lst all relevance, because my first choice is now, in my book, my only choice.

The University of Nottingham. "Why?" I hear the question asked in your head right now, bouncing from left to right, and it shall be answered in the coming sentences.

Saturday, 12/09/09 was the day I made the 161 mile journey down to Nottingham, approximately 3 hours and 10 minutes in the car to take a look around the University on those ever inoccuous periods of time they call open days, they being the University Board folks that decide whether a University is any good or not. We arrived at the University at around 10 AM, and started off with a look around the Catered Accomodation Hall, Willoughby. Which was, in all fairness, a very, very nice place. The rooms were big enough for all my stuff, the Dining Hall was as big as Vanessa Feltz' stomach after Christmas, and there was a lovely little bar with a widescreen TV, Sky and a Nintendo Wii. What more would an 18 year old student want? A question I found out soon after. Broadgate Park.

Broadgate Park has everything Willoughby had, but on a 1000000x scale. Broadgate is like a mini-village, with about 9 different flat buildings, it's own Londis, it's own bar and it's own common room. It's a self-catered accomodation this time, however, which means I'll have to budget my money with my other flat-mates regarding Tesco visits and so forth, but that doesn't matter, it's all part of University life.

I then made the 10 minute walk up to the Trent Building, in which I would have my French and Spanish talks. The French talk really certified that I wanted to come to Nottingham to do French, the head honcho of the French department was a really funny guy, and the courses look brilliant too. The Spanish talk, however, was not so good. The Spanish head honcho was argueably the most boring man on the planet. His English wasn't very good, as he was obviously Spanish, but he could speak it quite fluently, but that wasn't the issue. Let me give you an example.

A point this guy wanted to make was "To study Hispanic Studies, then you must learn Portuguese." How long did that take, 3 seconds? Well, this guy managed to stretch it out to over 10 minutes. Do not ask me how. And that's how the rest of the talk went. Long explanation after long explanation. And, the irony is, that right at the beginning of the talk he actually said "I apologise before hand because I won't be able to go into enough detail about the courses...". Sorry, what?

After a post that's been a long time in writing, due to the fact of me being interupted every time I went back to it, it's been rather anti-climactic.

See you soon, Nottingham. Hopefully...

Apparently, 85% of scousers admitted to having shower sex. 15% said they'd never been in prison.

Apologies for the random title. I couldn't think of anything, and it makes me laugh.

And so my final year at Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen has begun to a, err, not that much of a start. I went in on Friday to get my timetable, and we were set to start our lessons at lesson 3 to the end of the day. I had free lessons from lesson 3 to the end of the day. So I just sat around doing my best to socialise with all the people I didn't talk to over the summer.

Today was slightly better, sort of starting my 3 courses - Drama, History and French. I say sort of. In Drama, we were given the low down of the course and what's to come. Which is basically an amalgamation of acting (oddly) and doing an exam that sounds quite difficult to say the least. 2 and a half hours of writing, where we have to write about two drama's, and write your direction for a passage of a script we've never seen before. Fun.

In History, we got absolutely ripped into. Miss Adsett wasn't so bad, she just said she was very angry when she saw the results, but that'll be sorted in January with the re-sits. Miss Bryan-Jones however. Goodness me. She played the whole "I've never had a U" card on the class, and she's had the worst results in 30 years of teaching. So, on that basis, I'm royally fucked. I didn't get a U, but I know I'm not the best in the class by a country mile, so I need to work my bloody socks off if I want to go to University. Something I want to do more than anything.

And finally in French. To start, I'd like to say that I absolutely can't stand Miss Rees. So imagine my reaction when we realise that we have Miss Rowlands (my favourite teacher) twice, Miss West (my joint-favourite teacher) twice, and Miss Rees four times. In the space of two weeks. So we get the good teachers once a week. Brilliant. Oh, and we're studying a French script and a French book in those once-a-week lessons. And studying different themes in the twice-a-week lesson. Which sounds more difficult? Books or our current theme, La Radio? Ridiculous.

Oh, in the lesson we started our theme. That's it.

In other (literal) news, Kakutagate. Not heard of it? Maybe "Chelsea have been banned from signing any players in the Transfer Window until January 2011" will ring a bell? Yes? Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but that is slightly harsh. Let's review.

According to FIFA and FC Lens, Chelsea are guilty of "inticing" a French youngster, Gael Kakuta, into breaking his contract with FC Lens to sign for Chelsea. Okay, that sounds bad. But, what strikes me, is that FIFA have banned Chelsea because of details that they're not completely certain about. Where in the flying fudges of Hell does that make sense? Oh and about this supposed contract that Kakuta had. He'd signed an agreement with Lens when he was 14, saying that as soon as he turns 17 (the legal age to be signed for a proffesional club in France) he will sign a proffesional contract. Okay, so if Chelsea sign him before he signs that contract, it is an issue. And they did sign him before that pro contract was signed. However. You have to be at least 16 to sign an agreement. So, Lens were breaking the law when they signed that deal in the first place. So, how can Chelsea break a contract that shouldn't exist in the first place? Lens didn't get done for doing that. But as soon as they find out Chelsea are involved, bang, they forget the original rule break and blame Chelsea for everything. As usual.

Sorry for the football rant for those who don't like football. But it's something that really, really pissed me off.

To conclude, I'm going to see District 9 on Wednesday, which I can't wait for.

So long, goodbye.

In the ever bright celebrity spotlight...

20th post!

So, after what I said last post about how my blogs will change slightly into the latest news and happenings that have caught my eye, and as no such story has largely caught my eye, I shall contain two different stories about the celebrities of this blue and green ball.

By the way, I have only now noticed my blog title rhymes. I wrote it, and still didn't see it.

Did you all catch the story that Kerry Katona has been sacked from her job promoting Iceland? The shop to go to if you're having a family get together? Have you all noticed that in every advert about Iceland Katona was in, there was always around 200 people there? No? Go get a tele-box. Well, she's been sacked after a video showed her snorting cocaine. Now I'm not going to have a rant about Katona here, it's more a rant about the stupidity revolving around doing stupid things when you're a famous person, where everything you do will be found out somehow. And shopping at Iceland.

Now, we've all seen it. Front page stories in Stories of the Universe and the Nightly Moon about certain celebrities (this week, the contestant is Kerry Katona) either getting absolutely smashed in a London/Manchester/Liverpool night club - it's never places like Loughborough, or Bracknell. Always the glitzy places. Surely going to a place like Bracknellwould make you less vulnerable to the Paparazzi batallion that patrols the streets of England daily, hoping to catch the latest celebrity scandal where a female celebrity went out of her house without the biggest sunglasses she'd come accross in yesterday's Gucci sale of 0.000000000000000000000001% everything. But surely being in a place like Bracknell would aid the celebrities that do like to have more fun than the celebrities that are watched constantly. Have you ever actually seen anyone in Bracknell? I've seen many cars drive through Bracknell, including myself, but never actually stop there. I can see it now in The Extremely Hot Orange Round Thing - Bracknell Becomes Celebrity Safe Haven. Althought I doubt these tabloids know what a safe haven is.

Now, if by chance that you're reading this, and are on the verge of becoming the latest hot property this world has to offer, then you should stay away from the Londons, Manchesters and Liverpools if you want to have fun. Bracknell is where it's at.

The second story that caught my eye is one that I find absolutely scandalous. The Calum Davenport incident. Heard of it? A young, English, 26 year old West Ham centre back was stabbed in the last few days, in both legs. His mother too. It's absolutely awful. A centre back that I believe had a chance at an England call up for the World Cup next summer, his career has been cut short by two lunatics with knives. Now these people don't deserve to see the outside of a jail cell ever again. And do you know what they've been charged with? Grevious Bodily Harm and Accidental Bodily Harm. And that's the scandalous part. Accidental? So you, Mr. Judge, have come to the conclusion that these guys accidentally broke into Davenports house, accidentally brought a knife with them, and accidentally stabbed Calum and his mother in both legs? I can really see where you're coming from with that. The latest news is that the mother is okay, she wasn't badly hurt, but that Calum Davenport may actually lose a leg. That's just awful. He's only 26! Chrissake.

I think that ends this rant of a post. And in all honesty, I didn't like that style of blog. I'll stick to the updates of my life, thank you very much.

So long, farewell, auf Weidersehn and good night.

When life gets you down...oh wait, it doesn't.

With a matter of days until I turn the magic 17, I was sadly anticipating a very depressed magic day. The 20th of August had been billed to depress the life out of me, but it had actually done the exact opposite.

I have never been so happy in my life.

Before I write about today, it may interest you to know what I have been doing since my return from Transatlantica. Well, let's travel back to the day I wrote my blog. So I wrote the blog...and I fell asleep. Okay, fun day there. The day after I seem to recall that's when I went to the cinema to see Orphan...yes, it was, with Ffion, Adam and Sarah. Was a good film too, check out my Film Reviews for full details. And after that, I guess I returned home at around 10:30PM, and I think I went to sleep. Jet lag really is a pain in the derriere.

Then other not very interesting things happened that I won't write about because it probably contains sleep, sleeping, going to bed, and crashing out on the sofa. Take your pick and fullfil the rest of my week until this very moment. This is turning interactive now! I'll give you some time to choose what I did before I move on.

So. Seen the weather? It's been pretty good recently, hasn't it? Yes.

Okay, chosen? Good. If you chose "sleep", it shows you're a very lazy person, like me. If you chose "sleeping", how do you think I'm writing this blog if I'm sleeping? Silly person. If you chose "going to bed", it really is past your bed time. And if you chose "crashing out on the sofa", it shows you're hardcore, and have just been drinking all night long and have been sick all over the front door. Rock hard.

Sorry for that slight detour from the blog, I have a minor case of writer's block at the minute, so my writing isn't flowing very well, and as a result this will probably be a comparatively short post, in relation to my past good tidings. Oh, and it'll be full of random shit. You can handle that, yeah?

Today. I arose from my deep sleep at around 7:45, half an hour before I set my alarm. So I lay in my bed, shaking in my...bare feet?...waiting for 9:00, at which time I would depart to receive my AS Level results. So at 8:15, I changed from my pyjama bottoms into some jeans, t-shirt and a hoodie, used the toilet, washed my face then went downstairs to have some breakfast. It consisted of Weetabix, Sultanas and sugar. Absolutely delicious. Whilst eating, I watched Scuzz, which is when I discovered the new Paramore song "Ignorance" which is rather good. Wait, not good, brilliant fits the bill. Sadly though, it hasn't been released yet, and only the live version is in the vortex of wonder that is YouTube. I guess I'll have to wait a day or two before I find it on there.

Anywho, at 8:50, I woke my Dad up to drive me up to school to fetch my results. Oh, we have a new car by the way. My sister crashed my Dads old one, so we had to get a new car. I hated the old car. So my parents went car shopping, and settled upon the ever reliable Mazda. A Mazda 3 Saloon, to be precise. And it's bloody good too. So he drove me up there, dropped me off, and left. Leaving me to walk into the unknown, and collect that very ominous looking envelope. As I walked away from the table that held my envelope (it had my name on it, conveniantly) dread filled my brain. "I've failed everything, I know it, I know it." I un-sealed the envolope, hands shaking, and pulled the contents from inside, bearing my results.

Drama: A
French: B
History: C
IT: B

A smile formed accross my scared face. Colour seeped back. I'd passed. I'd passed all of them. I couldn't believe it, I read them over three times before the headmistress came over and asked me how I did, and she smiled aswell. If the female equivalent of Hitler smiles at you, you know you've done rather well. But I had to contain my complete joy until I returned home, knowing that if I celebrate too much, the people that didn't do so well would feel even worse than they already feel. That still didn't stop me being hated playfully for the morning. But on the whole, everyone did well, with only one or two mishaps. But those mishaps don't matter at all, because all will be rectified come Christmas. Well done, everyone.

And so concludes my quite story-like post about my exam results. I think the style of my blog may change slightly in the coming weeks. Not only will I tell you wonderful readers (yes, that means you CrazyDistortion) about my life, I shall be expressing my opinions on the latest stories from around the world, depending on how stupid, ridiculous or amazing the stories may be. I will find the story of a lifetime while writing these blogs however, don't you worry.

Watch this space.

A concoction of bad memory and bad jet lag.

Rhys Bowen Jones...IS BACK. Dun dun dun.

So, where to begin? Well, I think my holiday is a good start as there were only 4 days between me leaving and the end of school, in which absolutely nothing happened. So, I shall take you on a journey, in a person-with-a-deep-voice-you-always-hear-in-horror-film trailers kind of way. Or, if you want, read the dates I post in the Big Brother Geordie Narrator's voice. It could give many a chuckle, although only to me and my 5 year old mind. Actually I think I'll write the whole thing like the Geordie Guy.

The times of days I post are just random approximations, I didn't pay attention that much.

Day 1. Tuesday, July 21st. 11:04 AM.

Today is the first day of the Bowen Jones' family holiday. It's been 7 minutes since they arrived at Cardiff Central Bus Station, waiting for the 201 National Express bus to take them to Gatwick. Naturally, disaster occured for the writer of this blog. He chose the wrong place to sit on the bus, as the bus toilet leaked urine onto his hoodie on the bus floor. Not a great start for Rhys.

5:31 PM.

The Bowen Jones family arrived at Gatwick, and checked in using the Virgin Atlantic Twilight method, leaving them staying the night at the Gatwick Hilton Hotel. The rest of the night was taken up by a pleasant meal at a Gatwick Airport Pub/Restaurant that was actually very nice indeed. Then, the family went off to the room, getting some rest before the 10 hour flight to Las Vegas the next day.

Day 2. Wednesday, July 22nd. 9:12 AM.

As the Bowen Jones family were staying at the airport, there was no pre-flight rush regarding check-in and what not. But, usefully, Rhys was still using his crutch, leaving him and the rest of the family to jump nearly every queue they joined.

Ah, fuck it. I just want to write freely now. Feel free to make up some days in your head for the Geordie voice in your head to say.

So, yeah, the crutch did prove useful at the airport, but from then on, it was an absolute disaster, which I shall talk about when I start talking about Las Vegas. But, for now, back to the airport.

The flight was very painless indeed, with a good selection of films on the seat back TV's for me to watch. I watched I Love You, Man (very funny), Slumdog Millionaire (brilliant) and maybe one other film but I can't remember which one. Obviously, it wasn't very good. The return flight was a much more enjoyable one, film wise. Read on to see what enjoyment I had on that flight home, for those of you who really don't have anything better to do than read my blog.

We arrived in Vegas at around 3 PM on the Wednesday because of the time change and all that jazz, which was a bitch to try and get used to for the first few days. But anyway, we arrived in blistering heat that really thwacked you in the face as soon as you walked outside. The heat in Vegas was unbelievable. It was at least 104 Faranheit everyday, I think, which is around the 36 Celsius mark, but I'm not quite sure, because I find faranheit very confusing. 37 Faranheit is 0 Celsius? Which genius thought that up?

To Las Vegas itself. It was really nice there, but it was the most tiring place ever. Walking from hotel to hotel (well, hopping) which were so far away from eachother. They were definitely worth going to, every single one of them were just breathtakingly stunning, but couldn't they have some sort of bus service going to each place...they did, but we didn't find out about it until the 3rd day. Clever. The best hotels were the Venetian, New York New York, Paris Las Vegas and the Bellagio who were all amazing inside. Just amazing. We did a lot in the 3 nights there, but the two highlights for me were the Fremont Street Experience and the Nathan Burton Comedy Magic show.

Fremont Street was absolutely amazing. Fremont Street is the original Las Vegas before it got famous, and every night from 10pm to the easrly hours of the morning, once every half hour, the glass roof above the street comes to life. It shows a very colourful lazer show from the roof to We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions by Queen. Pictures and videos will be up on the book of my face as soon as possible.

And Nathan Burton is possibly the most amazingly hilarious show I've ever seen. I laughed harder watching that show than at Lee Evans Live and The Hangover, and for those of you who do read my film reviews, you know how much I laughed at The Hangover. There were 3 acts in the show. Nathan Burton was the magic, and 2 others were the comedy. The first comedy act was really funny, but I can't remember the guy who did it's name, sadly. But the second act was comedy genius. His name is Michael Holly and he's a comedy variety act, but he did comedy and juggling when we were there, and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Both me and my mum were crying with laughter - my Dad and brother were laughing, but you had to be quite zany to get his humour, and me and my mum are on a different level of zany to those two - at every line he said and everything he did. He managed to juggle TWO BOWLING BALLS and an Apple, taking a bit out of the apple at every throw. It was brilliant! But it was his comedy that was the highlight. His delivery and the way he worked the audience was absolutely hilarious, and the highlight was this: Throughout the beginning of the show (when he was juggling), he was joking about throwing a bowling ball in to the air and bouncing it on his head. He threatened to do it twice by throwing the ball up, putting his head under it, but catching the ball at the last minute. But the third time, he picked a ball up from his box, threw it up and bounced it on his head! It wasn't a real bowling ball, obviously, but the way he did it was just incredibly funny. I was still chuckling at it a week after the show! I'm smiling at it right now while writing about it! Just brilliant.

And that's it for Vegas, boy it was good. Following Vegas, we drove down to Sedona, Pheonix for two nights and it was stunning there. The place is surrounded by big red rock mountains and it's beautiful. The only thing we did in Sedona was drive down to see the Grand Canyon which was absolutely breathtaking. The scale of the place is unreal, it makes you feel so small when you stand on the edge - yes, I stood on the edge, much to the annoyance of my Mum - and it does make you think. No matter how fucked the world is right now, it still holds so many brilliant things that you just have to see. Awesome.

Then we drove down to Palm Springs, which barely deserves a mention because it was bullshit. It was only for a night to break up the 8 hour journey from Sedona to San Diego. Onwards and upwards.

San Diego is amazing. The climate is so perfect there, it's amazing. And to add to the brilliance, our hotel was home to a huge gig venue, that our hotel room had a balcony view of! George Thoroughgood and Earth, Wind and Fire were performing, and they were okay. Thoroughgood was okay, and guaranteed every single person that reads this will know his song Bad To The Bone. YouTube it if you don't believe me. You'll know it, guaranteed. We stayed there for 3 nights and then we drove a short way to San Diego harbour to go on a cruise.

WHAT?! CRUISE?! Yep, that was my reaction too. Throughout the holiday me and my brother had been told we were staying in a second hotel in San Diego to see another part of the great place, but they'd booked a cruise for us. We'd been told we were staying in the Elation Inn. To make matters worse, I didn't work out we were going on a cruise even when we drove past the thing! It was to the right as we were going over a bridge and my brother said "Look, a Carnival ship!" - Carnival Cruise Lines is the company we always cruise with, and are the best cruise line ever - and it was called the "Carnival Elation", hence the Elation Inn story, and all I said was "what a coincidence!" I still hadn't clocked it! I only realised it when our shuttle bus from the car park to take us to the ship arrived when I started jumping around shouting "We're going on a cruise! We're going on a cruise!" for about 10 minutes. The cruise was a 3 day cruise going down to Ensenada, Mexico - I didn't get off, surprisingly - but the cruise was brilliant. Unlimited free food and drink for 3 days...how awesome is that?! Totally unexpected, yet totally brilliant too.

After the cruise, we drove down to Los Angeles for the final leg of our journey around California, Nevada and Pheonix. We stayed there for 6 nights, and it was amazing. We didn't do anything on the first day except stay around the pool and go to a mall. But on the second night we went to a LA Dodgers baseball game where they played the Milwaukee Brewers, and it was so much fun! The Dodgers won it 17-4 in the end, with nearly a big fight happening at the end after the Dodgers pitcher (the one that throws the ball) hit the Brewers batter purposely in the face. I chuckled. On the third day we did the main attraction of LA - Hollywood Boulevard, aka, the Walk of Fame. And it was awesome too! To start with, there were no really big names until a short distance from the Kodak Centre and I got pictures of all the stars I was interested in - Arnie Schwarzenegger, Leonard Nimoy, Jimi Hendrix and Kermit The Frog, but to name a few. We went to the Chinese Theatre and I loved that too, with all celebrities foot and hand prints and signatures, including Johnny Dep and Rupert Grint - got pictures of those too! We then went to the Hollywood sign and got pictures of that! Awesome day! But the next one was so amazingly incredible, that it'll get it's own paragraph...DUN DUN DUN.

Six. Flags. Magic. Mountain. The. Greatest. Theme park. Ever. And that's no word of a lie, I absolutely love it. There is so much to do there - we spent nearly 11 hours at the park and still didn't manage to do everything. There were 11 huge rollercoasters there and I think I managed to do 8 of them - Deja Vu, Terminator Salvation: The Ride, Deja Vu, Goliath, The Goldrusher, Batman: The Ride, Tatsu and X2. Missing out on Superman: The Ride, Colossus and Riddler's Revenge. We then threw in little rides like Go Kart racing and a couple of shows. Amazing day, but X2 is easily the highlight of the day. Actually, the whole-freaking-holiday! It was beyond insane. Basically, it's a ride with loops, corkscrews, and 3 vertical drops. Oh and your seat spins forwards and backwards as you go along the ride, with the train travelling at over 70 MPH. Absolutely freaking mental, and I loved every single second of it. Except when I banged my leg on a railing in the queue. Ouch.

After Six Flags on the next day, we went to a mall and I went to the cinema and saw G-Force (see film review for full details) with my brother and fell in love with American Cinemas. They're amazing! So comfortable, screens are huge, really really good quality, just awesome! Then the final day we packed and went to Pasadena, which wasn't all that much really. And so it ended. Easily the best 18 days of my life, and an amazing first half to the summer. Hopefully next year will top at after my free house for two weeks! SCORE. But still, awesome 3 weeks, fair play.

Oh I almost forgot - the flight home was epic too. 9 hours and 25 minutes watching films. Awesome. Watched Watchmen (was okay, too long though), Coraline (best kids film I've ever seen!), Observe and Report (funny, but very very weird...), tried to watch 17 Again, got bored, and started watching Miss March which has to be the worst first 20 minutes of a film I've ever seen, so I left it. Slept for maybe an hour, then watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory (now one of my favourite tv shows) and Live at the Apollo with Michael McIntyre, Rich Hall and Rhod Gilbert (funniest episode ever). Was good fun!

And finally, I shall give a mention to something I like to call The Converse Girls. Basically, every single girl I saw wearing converse was hot. This blog has sunken to an all time low, but America has some really pretty girls living there. And when you've seen one or two by the pool, you know you just have to live there.

Sorry, that was one of my less well written posts, but there was so much to put in, I just had to write at all out.

Ho hum, and that ends my biggest blog to date. Hope you had fun reading it, though I doubt you did.

Au revoir, pour maintenant. Hmm, doesn't have the same ring as "Ciao for now".

The end is beginning.

I'm sure I've already done a post titled similar to that. Which only shows that I have the imagination of a pig. A pig that spends all day rolling around in its own shit. A pig that does nothing but eat cabbage. A pig with AIDS. A fucked up pig. I have no idea where that came from.

So the end of Year 12 has officially come to an end, with the similarly titled blog being the unofficial end to Year 12. But it's official. I have one year left at Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen. Yes, I do maintain the stance that the name of the school is Rhydfelen. It's a lost cause now, oh yes, but I still the school is and always will be Rhydfelen. Good boy, Rhys, pat on the back for you. But to end the year on an unbelievably high note, I was voted as Prif Swyddog (Head Boy for the non-Welsh speakers) by my fellow Sixth-Formers and Teachers! I was so shocked when Tabatha (Headmistress) announced that it was Osian and I (oh, grammar, very good) who were the Prif Swyddogion! Rhys and Gwennan got Deputies, thoroughly deserved too, I thought it was those two that would've been Prif Swyddogion, truth be told. But, oh my, I couldn't believe it. Hopefully I'll do well and shall do my best to fulfill the Sixth-Formers wants and needs.

So, 6 weeks now until the first day back on September 4th. Which is a Friday. It begs the question, why? Could you not give us that extra weekend? Is it so hard? Bloody whoever-chose-the-dates-for-the-school-term.

I'm now packing for my venture to California. Be it updating the old MP3, or just packing my bag, I will be doing something productive towards California. I won't bore you with all the rollercoaster business, but I really can't wait. Should be the highlight of my holiday, that.

In other news, my local Borders is closing down. It hasn't been there for very long, but it's closing down. Which is very tragic. But it's got a 50%-off-everything-closing-down-sale. Which is very good. I went down there on this very day to get some new Summer reading material, and came out with two books. The first of which is called "Altered Carbon", a novel by Richard Morgan, and it seems awesome. It's about an Anti-Hero named Takeshi Kovacs, and it's set in the 26th century. Like a futuristic superhero thriller story. And the second is called Auslander, meaning The Foreigner, is set in 1943 Berlin, about a young German boy who has all the credentials to be the perfect member of Hitler Youth. But he doesn't want to be a Nazi, so he runs away. Which seems awesome too. Good stuff.

This is a relatively short post compared to past posts, but it gives me something to do. But this is my fond farewell from blogger for around 3 weeks.

California awaits.

Badoodadoodadoozy.

No, the title isn't a random combination of keys that a cat could've done. But yes, it is lame, yet also amused me muchly everytime I heard it. I'll explain later.

And so, the final week of school is upon me. But, more importantly, it's a mere 9 days until I make the venture all the way to Nevada/California. And I absolutely can't wait. The final 6 days should be the best of it. Los Angeles, and more importantly for me, Six Flags Magic Mountain. Home to a number of absolutely outstanding rollercoasters. Go have a look on the website if you don't believe me. And YouTube is a good source for the rides too.

Anyway, a sum up of the recent times.

Monday, I made the trip over to Oakwood (a theme park) with Year 7, and I had a really good day out there. Megaphobia is the classic Oakwood coaster that everyone goes on, and always loves. Then we have the likes of Bounce, Hydro and Speed. Bounce is not very exciting nowadays as I've grown up a bit, but Hydro and Speed are the bees knees. I didn't get a chance to go on Hydro this time, sadly, but it's still a cracking ride. And then Speed is pure brilliance. But I think I blacked out for a few seconds half-way through, as I can't remember anything after the picture, but before the corkscrew. Oh well.

Tuesday, fuck all happened.

Wednesday I went to Paris, once again with Year 7. Fair play to them, they're a really good laugh. Wednesday was just travelling all the way to Paris, so nothing very exciting happened. Thursday we went to Park Asterix, which is home to possibly the best rollercoaster (wow, rollercoasters have featured a lot in this blog) I've ever been on, despite the uncanny resemblance to the rollercoaster in Final Destination 3, except the fact that I didn't, err, die halfway through the ride. But anyhow, there was a number we went around with - Me, Andrew, Mirain, Emily, Gareth (the pie), Tom (yes, from Pobol Y Cwm!), Nathan, Carys, Amy and Hannah - and it was a whole lotta fun! Despite Gareth being the most annoying Year 7er ever to have been reproduced. Ho hum, no day can ever be perfect. And Thursday night we went on a boat ride along the River Seine and it was absolutely stunning. Paris is just an amazing city, that I hope to live in one day. Be it right after University, or when I retire, I will live there one day. Friday, then, was travelling home. And it was a really good laugh again. Me and a Year 7er have a little phrase going (well, it's not really a phrase, just an amalgamation of letters that make a rather amusing end product) which goes like the title says. Badoodadoodadoozy. I have no idea why I find it hilarious (well, not really hilarious, it just makes me chuckle whenever I hear it), but I do. Which connects to something I really did find hilarious on the bus home from Paris on Thursday night, which was one Year 7er sneezing rather wildly. That's all it was, and yet I was laughing uncontrollably for around 15 minutes. That's just me, get used to it.

Now I have one week left before the school term as finished, where I will have absolutely nothing to do all week, except for Thursday, where I'm in charge of the Bungee Run during the school's "Fun Day" which should, surprisingly, be fun.

In other news, it seems that one Bethan Hughes has screwed her knee in, in very similar fashion to what I did. Ligament damage and all that jazz. Except hers was done whilst playing football, and mine whilst skiing. Get well soon kiddo!

And so ends my post for this evening. I have Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to look forward to on Wednesday - for those of you who do read my film reviews (yes, the both of you), I will review it on Wednesday night - which I cannot wait to see.

Ciao.

Just keeping you posted.

Hello there. This is just going to be yet another one of my blogs that has no point whatsoever, and it shows how much of a brilliant social life I actually have. And blogging is actually kind of fun. But, shh, anyone hear's me say that, and I will forever be known as the "Lord of the Blog." Or something not really witty that someone with 4.9 brain cells made up, purely out of jealousy. Yes, I said it. Jealous of my trumendous blogger skills. Or the jealousy that I can actually string a few words together and, surprisingly, make the odd person laugh. Take that, 4.9 Brain Cells Man.

Well, from July 6 - August 10 should be pretty amazing to be perfectly honest. Check this out:

July 6 - Oakwood.
July 8 - 10 - Paris.
July 13 - my first, and only outing, as Capten Llys.
July 17 - End of Year 12.
July 21 - August 10 - Roadtrip around California, with Las Vegas thrown in for good measure.

I'd like to point out a few things on the list above. I'm actually going to Oakwood for free. How awesome is that? And the holiday to California isn't really a roadtrip, it just coincidentally involves us (me and my family) driving to 4 or 5 places all over California (including San Diego and Los Angeles), and then Las Vegas, Nevada. Could be the best holiday ever, which is, incidentally, my last summer holiday with my family. But I'll still go on the annual Skiing trip, or possibly Snowboarding depending on how confident I am after my fall in April.

I've decided not to go on a summer holiday with the family next year. I just think it's fitting that I have a whole summer to enjoy with my friends before we all go our separate ways to the wonderful time of your life that is University. I really can't wait for University. By the way, I've now got my heart set on Nottingham now. I don't think anything will change my mind now. But knowing myself, something will. Be it homesickness, or fear of not fitting in to the Uni, or fear of not liking the Campus. Or just the fear that it'll all go horribly wrong, and won't get accepted anywhere. The latter is, naturally, my biggest fear.

Sorry for the slight side track into a weird, and slightly depressing insight into my mind set for University. I'm just worr...sorry going off again.

On a lighter note, the Lions finished on one today beating the Springboks very comfortably, with a 28 - 9 victory. The first two tests were just disappointing. Well, not really disappointing, just gutting really. The first test was a superb game of rugby, but the Boks won it quite easily in hindisght. But the second test. Losing with an injury time penalty is just unfair. Goddamn you, Ronan O'Gara.

And, on an even lighter note, after my injury a few months ago, I've finally gotten rid of the crutches and am walking again!! Not very smoothly, with a rather big limp, but I can walk. And if I keep walking, the limp will slowly decrease and I should be back to normal in no time. A jump for joy is in order. Shit, maybe I shouldn't jump for joy again. No prizes for guessing what just happened.

Xbox is getting pretty fun at the moment. Borrowing Mass Effect and Dead Rising from Adam, and they're class. Mass Effect is like being in a film, it's great. And Dead Rising...what game will let you attack zombies with whatever you want?! I used a toy lightsabre once. It wasn't very good at all, but still, I could use one. Awesome stuff.

Finally, to put you all on a downer, or a high moment for you people with no soul, or Satan, Michael Jackson has died. It did come as a huge shock to me, I just wasn't expecting it. I do feel for the ones that went out of their way to spend £1000 on a ticket, and then find out they'll only get the face value back when the O2 arena give out the refunds. Gutted. However, no matter how shocked and gutted I was when he died (mostly 'cause his songs are legendary), I still had to laugh at the jokes. To be honest, who didn't at least give off a slight chuckle to just one of the many millions of jokes out there?

I think that pretty much rounds it up for now. Hope you enjoyed reading this and will probably not post again until Results Day, unless something monumental happens, I will keep my Lord of the Blog outfit in my cupboard for a while.

And Sree's gone from Big Brother. Thank fuck for that.

Oh, so close to not swearing in a blog for once.

Big Brother.

This year is the most annoying year yet. There are no stand outs whatsoever. But Siavash for the win, 'cause he's cool.

For Jade - It's shit actually tbh.

I really got into watching it in the year of legendary Pete - the one with tourettes. He was just hilarious. It was also the year of ever-so-annoyingly-loud Nikki, the Welsh-come-annoyingtwat Glyn and the simply gorgeous Imogen, also from Wales. And it was a laugh, everything happened in it, it was brilliant.

Last year's was okay, but nothing special. With Mikey, the blind one, and Rachel, the winner who everyone's forgotten about. By the end all the good housemates left and I lost all interest really. After Luke left, I thought he was the funniest housemate ever cause he reminded me of Lee Evans, it just went downhill.

Then this year is more irritating than anything. Sree and Marcus are the most annoying bastards ever to grace my TV. And I shall go into a bit of a rant about those two, starting now.

Sree is the most hypocritical twat I have ever seen. He goes into the Diary Room complaing that Siavash uses the "F word" too much and he doesn't like swearing and all that jazz, and then he goes around like "shut the fuck up" and "fuck off" left, right and centre. He really, really irritates the life out of me, and I hope he leaves on Friday. Pillock of the highest order.

Marcus is the most childish 40-something year old. Ever. He swears constantly and just oggles all the girls in the house, even Angel at the beginning! He keeps going to Sophie "oh go on, get your tits out for us" and "Can I have a findle later?" and shit, he's just a perv. And Sophie's young enough to be his freaking daughter! That's just wrong, dude. And he's a hypocrite too. He has a huge go at Sree for stalking Noirin (I agree that Sree did stalk her though) and then he goes and does the exact same thing, except he's like a 12 year old with a crush around her! Whenever you see Noirin in the house, oh, there's Marcus! Jesus Christ!! Noirin is a pretty girl to be fair to her, but she's not as beautiful as all the males in the house think. She's annoying too as she's a two-faced bitch half the time. I also hate the way that Marcus always drops hints like "Oh, I think Shania Twain is beautiful...but not as much as Noirin though" and when he realises that Noirin didn't hear him, he said "Noirin, I said I think you're more beautiful than Shania Twain" Jesus, it's disgusting. I think she's the same age as Sophie aswell, sicko.

Well it seems that I hate Marcus more than Sree after that, but when I see Sree, I just cringe and say "oh, fuck no." Twats, the pair of them.

Big Brother really knows how to grind my gears. If the both of them stay in the house this Friday, that's one less viewer it'll get.

The University Blog, as promised.

I'm making this into a bit of a habit. That's 3 posts in the space of a week by my reckoning. God, I need to get out more.

As I said in my latest post, I'll give you a full run down of the Universities I'm considering venturing off to next year in the next paragraphs. I still have no clue which University I want to go to most, but 3 at the moment are top of the list, with 1 possibly being dropped after an earlier conversation with my parents. We shall see.

Well a good place to start is to tell you wonderful people that either a) have read my blog from the start after me telling you to, or b) just found it by accident like a sperm finding an egg. It just happens. Anyway, I'm hoping to do French at University, with a second language to study from scratch, either Spanish or Italian, depending on the University. I've always loved French. Ever since Year 7, which is a bit of a shock seen as I had the delightfully awful Miss Rees teaching me, I've liked it. I like the French accent a lot, and to be able to speak it fluently in the future would be brilliant. Spanish and Italian are for different reasons. Italian really doesn't have a reason, but I've been to Italy a number of times and the language just seems very interesting. I only took a liking to Spanish by chance. One of my French teachers, Mrs Rowlands, teaches Spanish as well, and when I walked into the classroom a few months back, there was an example Spanish paragraph about Joe Bloggs' village, and the language just seems really, really good. It's quite similar to French, and the language is really "flowy" and it rolls off the tongue very simply. Spanish is my first choice second language (ha, sounds funny), but we'll see, as Bath don't offer Spanish in a beginners course in Year 1, only Italian.

That last sentence leads we neatly on to the subject of Cheese. Just messin' wi'cha.

Bath. It seems a very promising University for me indeed, as it was voted very highly for Modern Languages in general in recent years. +1 for Bath. Secondly, my Mum took my sister to see the Bath campus 2 years ago when she was choosing her Universities, and Mum really liked the campus, she said it seemed very friendly, and lovely gardens too. +2. But a problem, as aforementioned, is that you can only do Italian from scratch there, Russian too, but I'm not interested in that. It wouldn't be disastrous if I went there, because I wouldn't mind going there at all, but it's not my first choice.

After much consideration, I've decided to give each University a "Likelyhood of RBJ making this University his top 3 when forming an application" rating.

1/5 - Very, very much doubt it.
2/5 - Unlikely.
3/5 - 50/50 chance, may choose it, may not.
4/5 - Highly expected to be a chosen one.
5/5 - Definitely making this University my first choice.

So on that basis, Bath gets a 3/5.

Bristol. Right from the start, I'd put this down as my first choice. Very well respected University, highly ranked in the University Rankings on the Guardian, Independant and Times. Looking good. +2. But after a conversation with Mum, it's put me off going there slightly. She has a friend who went to Bristol as a Postgraduate, and this friend (I don't know his/her name, will be referred to as "X." Makes them sound like a hitman. Or one of the X-Men, strangely.) said that the tuition at Bristol was not that good. No details, so I'm still sceptical. Once again using a phrase I seem to be over-using at the minute, we'll see.

Bristol gets a rather disappointing, 2/5.

Nottingham. I didn't originally have Nottingham as an original choice, but it's replaced Birmingam as a possible choice for the following reasons. 1) It seems to be a really nice looking Univeristy, looking very modern. 2) Well rated on the University rankings for 2010, rated in the top 20 for French, as opposed to Bristol's 27th. 3) A family friend went there and he really liked it. +3 for Nottingham. It's relatively close to my Grandparents house too, so that's another plus. Looking good for Nottingham. Will have a look for Open Days in the coming months.

4/5 by my reckoning.

Finally, Oxford. This has been up at the top of the list from the get go really, but I don't see myself getting in. But we'll see. It's obviously one of the best Universities in the world with Cambridge (well, I don't know, but it's always used as examples of Universities so you know), and it looks brilliant. Already went there for a day with the family and it seems like a really nice place, as well as a University. Definitely one of my choices.

4.5/5 for Oxford.

Which means that it seems that, at the moment, Bath, Nottingham and Oxford are my top 3 Universities. Chances are, or rather my luck, I won't get into any of them, and will end up at Trefforest School of Modern Languages. Fun, fun, fun.

Well it seems that this post has come to an end. Should give you an insight into the hopes of RBJ when it comes to University. Maybe I'll see one of you in Trefforest. See you there.

To end, I have a rather hilarious quote or two from Family Guy:

Quote Number 1.
Peter: Hey Lois, you remember that diamond engagement ring you always wanted?
Lois: Oh my god, Peter, you didn't! *smiles*
Peter: Yep, I got a horse!

Quote Number 2.
Ladies and Gentleman of the store, I have an important announcement to make. Testicles. That is all.

That's a fitting moment to end on by my reckoning.

This is the end of the beginning.

So, my final year at Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen (yeah, I went there) has begun. A year of, hopefully, many highs, and hopefully just the one low. The last day. I'll talk about that, surprisingly, in the last paragraph of this post. I don't forsee this being a particularly long post, just one to summarise what I hope the final year should include. There will be one with a full summary of my final year, surprisingly un-surprisingly, after it's over.

The exams are now over, as I mentioned in my most recent post, but didn't go into detail, as Green Day has priority over my future. Exam number one was IT. It went rather painlessly on the whole, as I wasn't nervous about it. The exam was merely a chance for me to upgrade my B to an A. I doubt I've done it to be honest, as my portfolio was awful. Ho hum. I'm dropping IT anyway, so it's not a problem. My second exam was French, and I did talk about that in my last post, but revitalising cream deserves a second mention. Onwards and upwards, as they say. Or was that just a saying derived by abnormally tall people to belittle (oh, the irony) the smaller people. Who knows? Next up, History, which truth be told, could've been a hell of a lot worse. I could answer every question, which is always a good sign. Had a question like "To what extent were the Nazi's helpful to the Jewish community between 1935 - 1945?" come up, which it wouldn't by the way, I'd've been well and truly pwned. And finally, Drama took the reigns, and to be honest, I didn't revise for it barely at all. Besides about an hour the night before and maybe half an hour on the morning of the exam.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologise for my actions for my actions before the History exam. I kept bragging about how I knew everything about Politics and rubbing it in people's faces. It was twatty of me, and I shouldn't've done it. Sorry dudes.

So, Year 13. It's begun brightly, with me being elected into the school senate. Well, I wasn't really elected into it, there weren't enough people that applied for it, so everyone was put in automatically. So now I'm in the senate, next stage - become Head Boy. It won't be easy though. I have fierce competition from the likes of Rhys Taylor, Andrew Ross and (the most troubling of the lot) Nathan Willets. Tough, tough gig. I won't get in though, guaranteed.

Lesson wise, I haven't had a proper Drama lesson yet, I've had a good start to Year 13 French by starting L'Étranger, we've started the coursework (sort of) for History and I'm dropping IT. What fun the next 5 weeks should be. And there was no sarcasm there. Honestly. 100% truth. Looking forward to it...

So we've arrived at the final paragraph, which it won't be as I'll write a new one about the next post I should do in the next few weeks, about the last day. Going to be very, very sad. Will have to say goodbye to everyone before University including Adam Hill, Christopher Burt, Andrew Ross and Bethan Hughes. Sad, sad day.

I've realised while writing the last paragraph that I have not yet filled you avid readers (5 of you by the looks of it) with my plans and hopes for University. Watch this space.

Bet you were waiting for me to do the Borat style "NOT" after my "Looking forward to it..." sentence. Oh how wrong you all were.

NOT.

Ha, got you there.

The past 3 months, and the issues that occured. Well, not really issues, just moments of interest that no one will really find interesting.

After an absence of many a month, Rhys' blog has returned for all you adoring fans out there. This blog should detail as much as what's happened in the past few months in order for me to release some possible anger, spontenuity and happiness. Please read on if you're interested. If not, fuck off.

As my last post was all the way back in March, let's go from there. So what happened? In all honesty, nothing of note. I'm 99% sure there was a number of adolescent arguements in and out of school. The reason I don't know whether there were any arguements or not is because, simply, I can't remember. There was only 15 or so days left in March after my last post anyhow, so let's just skip over that.

April has popped up onto the scene. April was a fairly eventful month to say the least. Started off by going skiing for a week at the beginning. All was going so well. Great skiing lessons, halfway through the week Chelsea tormented Liverpool to a 3-1 win at Anfield, setting up for an extraordinary encounter at the Bridge a week later. Full summary of this will be seen soon in this post. Downside of the skiing trip was the snow, as it didn't actually snow once all week, and it was bloody hot too, which meant the snow was melting nearer the bottom of the mountain. Not good skiing conditions. And I'm blaming that for what happens next, as I simply refuse to blame myself. Actually that's a lie, it was my fault. Anyway. So on the final morning of the week, I wasn't feeling comfortable skiing at all, I didn't feel I was in control of my skis, which is always a recipe for disaster. Lo and behold, I fell. I was made to be ski'd down the mountain on a sort of sledge, dragged along by another skier. It seems like a laugh, but it wasn't. The bumpiest and most uncomfortable ride I've ever had to experience. So, we arrived at the resort hospital, and after 2 hours there, it emerged that I had either fractured my shin or damaged my cruciate ligaments in my knee. Turns out I did both after closer examination back home. Lovely. I'm still on crutches now as it happens. Shouldn't be too long though, maybe another week or 2, if I do those exercises. Let's just hope for the best.

Any non-football, fans, feel free to skip this next exceptionally long paragraph on the Chelsea match.

As a forementioned, this will be a paragraph concentrating on the madness that insued during the second leg of Chelsea vs. Liverpool, quarter final of the Champions League. So, Chelsea were going into this with a very impressive and comfortable 3-1 lead, so all Chelsea needed to do was hold their nerve and they would be into the semi-finals. Sounds simple? Oh, how Chelsea made it difficult. First incident, Liverpool's Fabio Aurelio swings in a brilliant free kick that takes everyone by surprise into Cech's bottom left-hand corner. Okay, no panic, we're still in the lead. 3-2 on aggregate. Second incident, disaster. Ivanovic fouled Alonso in the box, penalty to Liverpool. Alonso scored. 3-3. Panic Chelsea. We were still going through on away goals, but one goal will change it all. Half-time pops up and Chelsea go into the dressing room dumb-founded, looking for answers on what went wrong. Guus Hiddink, Chelsea's temporary First Team Coach, had a mountain to climb. And boy did he. Chelsea started the second half like a totally different side, leading to Drogba's goal, or Reina's own goal. Either way, Chelsea scored. 4-3, we were back in the driving seat. Chelsea were fired up after this, creating chance after chance, until Drogba won Chelsea a free kick, about 30 yards out. Around the ball are Lampard, Drogba, Ballack and, more importantly, Alex. No one knew who was going to take this, until Alex started his run up. Alex has hit a few brilliant free kicks for us, but this one trumps them all. He blasts it with incredible power and spin, spinning around the wall, into the roof of the net. Reina had no chance. Easily one of the best free kicks I've ever seen. 5-3. Chelsea were comfortable, just had to hold out until the end. Moment of genius pops up, in the shape of Frank Lampard, scoring Chelsea's third of the night, and the sixth of the tie. 6-3. Surely we were home and dry now. Err, not quite. Lucas scored. Or was it an Essien own goal. Either way, they scored, with around 10 minutes to go. 6-4. Up pops Kuyt, with a brilliant header to convert a superb Liverpool move. 6-5. Hold onto your hats boys, it's going to be a bumpy last 5 minutes. Then, bang. Lampard scores again, with an excellent strike into the net, hitting both posts on the way in. 7-5. And that was that. Chelsea were into the semi-finals of the Champions League. One of the greatest games of football I've ever experienced. The semi-finals however, were a different story, which can be summarised in two words. Absolute twat. I won't talk about that one.

So that's April. With it's ups and downs, lefts and rights and spinning in circles.

May. "Hey, what's that? Is it a bird? Is it a Plane?" "It's the fucking sun." "Thanks Captain Obvious!" "Eat dick." Yes, the sun had appeared at long last! But so had my exams. I didn't have any time at all to enjoy the sun because of my exams. Except on the day before my History exam when I revised outside. Didn't learn much outside, but I revised outside. I'll talk about my exams a bit later. But first, a more important matter to discuss. Rhys Bowen Jones managed to scrounge himself a ticket to see Green Day! Unbelievably as I got it about 4 days after they were released, with nearly every ticket sold out. But I got one. Green Day's New Album was released too, 21st Century Breakdown, and it's brilliant, I love every song on there. Good stuff! Oh and Chelsea won the FA Cup. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

So, my exams. They started off rather brightly with IT, which was a lot easier than the not-so-disastrous exam in January. So I was feeling good. 4 days later, I had my French exam, the exam I was worried about most. And I had every right to be worried. How do they expect us to translate "Revitalising Cream" into Welsh, seriously? Bloody hell. I don't think it was totally disastrous, but I don't think I did as well as I should've done. So then I had a 2 week break before History and Drama. History by the end took over. Every waking minute was either spent upstairs in my room revising, or on MSN, revising. And when it came to pass, it wasn't all that bad. One bitch of a question on the National Government, but on the whole, it wasn't totally impossible. And finally, Drama. I'm probably going to shoot myself in the foot on this one, but it was terribly easy. I don't think I talked enough about the dramatists, but ho hum. And they're over. It went rather quickly, and rather painless. Bring on the results.

So I think that's it. It was an eventful couple of months, to say the least. Keep having a check to see whether I've written a new blog. I highly doubt I'll write one until after my results to vent my anger or vomit sunshine onto this blog after a successful day. We'll have to wait and see.

Now, what do I have to look forward to? Well, June shouldn't be too eventful, but the exception of Adam's birthday, and, less importantly, my Mum's birthday. Then there's Los Angeles in July/August, which should be amazing. Then my results. And finally, before the new school year starts again in September, the small matter of my birthday (17!), and the hope of driving lessons.

As it turns out, there was no anger, spontenuity or happiness, really. Bummer.

Exciting times in the RBJ camp.

The Bill meets 24 meets Saw.

How long has it been since I last wrote one of these? A month? Two months. God knows. But it's a Saturday Night. What would anyone with not much of a social life to on a Saturday Night? Write a Blog, of course!

2009 has been a bit of a weird one. New Year's was a great laugh, even though I got taken the picc out of all night by my parents and their friends. Brilliant eh?

Then came the night. My god, I actually don't think I've smiled so much in my life, to be quite honest. Was the epiphone of my 16 years to date. Then we met up in Caerdydd. Cardiff to the people that cannot speak the beautiful language that is Welsh. Although I only have two followers, both of them speak Welsh and neither of them are on here very much at all. Ho hum. We met up and had a great ass day! But she said no. Read between the lines people. Now it's all changed. God dammit. We're talking, but nothing like we were. Now it's just "hello. Alright?". For 5 mins...then nothing. God dammit. I shouldn't've asked her. I should've thought about the fact she had her GCSE's. Fuck's sake, Rhys. I really liked her aswell.

Anyone remember my post about Technoleg Gwybodaeth? How I said it was awful and used the word "shit" a hell of a lot? Well, I had my result back on Thursday. Turns out, I did quite well. Well enough to get a B anyway. Physically couldn't believe it when I saw it and had to do a double take. A B?! After the debacle of everyone thinking we failed?! Totally incredible. Made my day that did, I'm not going to lie.

(This isn't in chronological order by the way, I'm just writing whatever comes into my head next)

After the high of Thursday, Comic Relief came the next day! My favourite fundraiser! In school, the sixth form got to dress up as Film Stars for the day. Me and Chris' characters of choice? The Blues Brothers, of course! Had a great day at school, with Matthew dressing up as Batman easily the laugh of the day! Haha, I love Rhydfelen!

As opposed to Garth Olwg. Now, there was an utter shambles this year regarding the school name. Well, not the school name, per say, more how some people reacted. Posters were put up against the school name change from Rhydfelen to Garth Olwg. Which sounds totally harmless. Until you mention the fact that the posters had a Llanhari badge and Plasmawr badge on them, both with big red crosses over them. Sounds harmless too, as they're just two random school badges. Not so harmless when we have a new headteacher that came from Llanhari, and a new Deputy Headteacher that came from Plasmawr. Who's idea it was, I'm not quite sure, but it caused an uproar. Miss Morris (the head) and Mr Evans (deputy) called in three of my friends, Rhys, Andrew and Gazzard for questioning. This was slowly developing into The Bill. The three of them were called into Miss Morris' office at around 9:00 AM. They weren't seen until 14:00 PM. Now, 24 has creeped into the scene. They came out and Andrew exagerated (obviously, it's Andrew?) slightly and called it an interrigation. But that's what we thought it was. 5 hours of non-stop questioning. Chris thought that there'd be a knock on the door of the room we were in, we'd open the door, look down and see Andrew's finger ina box with a note saying: "You'll get the rest when he comes clean!". Unfortunately, no such thing arose. Would've livened up the day to a whole new level! The Bill meets 24 meets Saw.

So, now, a campaign is appearing on the horizon to get the name changed back to Rhydfelen. It seems that this protest is becoming more and more of a reality. And I'm going along with it. I'd rather spend my 7 years at Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen, thanks. Not 4 years at Rhydfelen and my last 3 at Ysgol Gyfun Garth Olwg.

Oh, there have been some issues with my school in the last month. The one that really pissed me off was the whole ordeal with Snow. Woke up on Tuesday morning to look outside and see the whole street covered in white. Brilliant! I love Snow! Had a relaxing Snow Day in the house. Wednesday morning, woke up to see the snow had cleared. And yet my school was still closed. Wednesday I did my work, quite successfully if I say so myself. Thursday morning, woke up to see it had been snowing again! No school again! Thursday I finished all the work I had. Friday morning, woke up to see the snow had cleared again and got changed to go to school. Oh wait, school's closed. Saturday and Sunday there was no snow at all so I was prepared to go to school the next day and get back to normal. Monday morning, woke up to see it had been raining. Lovely. Just about to leave the house when I got a text. School's closed. Okay, this got ridiculous. How could 2 days of Snow turn into 5 days off school? Jeese Louise.

Well, that was a bit of an epic blog to be fair.

2009...

So far, it's been bloody good. Awesome new year. Awesome month overall. Bring on the next 11 months!

The work is beginning to pile up though. TG project. 3 Hanes essays. Drama presentation. Eisteddfod. Menter yr Ifanc. Jeeeeeeeeese Louise. The TG Project I've finished but I know it's wrong. Haven't started the hanes essays. Currently doing the Drama presentation. Eisteddfod and Menter are on going all year. Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist. It's about time I start to use my free lessons wisely. At the moment, it's just me being a lazy arse. But now, something must be done. Joy.

Oh, and it's illegal to call Rhydfelen, Rhydfelen anymore. It must be called Garth Olwg. And there's going to be a uniform change. When, I don't know, but it will happen. Protesting has already begun. Posters being put up. Petitions being signed. We'll just have to wait and see if they listen to us. They being the govenors of the school, who don't really do much, never listen to anyone except Adolf. Sorry, Miss Morris I mean. If they make us wear the new uniform next year (my last year in Rhydfelen!) I will definitely take a stand and wear the Rhydfelen tie and suffer the consequences. Try and stop me.

Anyway, on a lighter note, yesterday. What an amazing night that was. Had such a laugh, man! And I got in free cause Llyr (Mr. Rhishart's son) told the guy on the door that I was a tamberine player and Andrew a cowbell player in his band. I really couldn't believe it worked. Ianto is a legend. And I have witnessed the Real Life trio of Seth, Evan and McLovin in Ianto, Llyr and Andrew. Nahahaha.

I guess that just about wraps it all up for this post. Feel free to comment. Just one little comment. Please?

Technoleg Gwybodaeth

What a disaster. What does it say about an exam when you know that someone who didn't take the subject answered the questions better than you did, eh?

Some lyrics for a song I can't get out of my head at the moment:

Well, I wonder which song they're gonna play when we go.
I hope it's something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow.
when we float out into the ether, into the Everlasting Arms,
I hope we don't hear Marley's chains we forged in life.
'cause the chains I been hearing now for most of my life.

Did you hear the '59 Sound coming through on Grandmama's radio?
Did you hear the rattling chains in the hospital walls?
Did you hear the old gospel choir when they came to carry you over?
Did you hear your favorite song one last time?

And I wonder were you scared when the metal hit the glass?
See, I was playing a show down the road
when your spirit left your body.
And they told me on the front lawn.
I'm sorry I couldn't go,
but I still know the song and the words and her name and the reasons.
And I know 'cause we were kids and we used to hang.

Short, but sweet. My god that was awful.