I don't plan on making this a particularly long post, but I think all my imaginary readers ought to know something that I only just realised a matter of minutes ago. The fact that the title of my entire blog is actually 100% correct.
Originally, I saw this entity on the Internet as simply another way to waste many hours staring at a light bulb, similar to what I do anyway, day in, day out. I do, obviously, get bored when I stare at said light bulb, and when I did get bored, I could make up some drivel that I'd had a sudden idea to write about in this blog I have. But, to tell you the truth, half the time I genuinely have no idea what I'm talking about. I ramble and ramble and ramble about anything and everything that comes into my head, literally no meaning behind the posts (apart from a select few, such as my xenophobia rant and, more recently, my World Cup one). I would just fill you all in on meaningless details of my life, how school's going, what I did in the last few months, that sort of thing. In short, I took this whole process of writing paragraph after paragraph for someone to read for granted.
However, I had a conversation with another homo-sapien very recently (their name shall remain confidential until said being allows me to say so) who wants to start writing a blog. This person claimed that they felt that they had nothing to write about whatsoever, leading me to the realisation that, simply, neither do I. And yet, somehow, I manage to squeeze varying lengths of ramblings out of what I thought was a mind devoid of any real creative imagination. The stories I wrote for school in English and Welsh were always a total disappointment, they had a poor ending, zero creativity when it comes to places, names etc. A particular memory of a story is one that I wrote set in the middle ages where my main character was a man named Sir Arjen, after Arjen Robben the former Chelsea player. The second of my characters, King Saloman is a current Chelsea player. It was only afterwards I realised of the repercussions of my King Saloman character. Do you see what I mean? I had to think of two characters, and neither of which were particularly original because of their football references. The fast and furious thoughts that have raced through my mind in the last 10 or so minutes have got my mind thinking.
I may or may not have told you that I have a novel planned. Actually, I don't think I did tell you. I'm thinking of writing a novel. There we go, I did tell you. I've tried to start writing this novel, I think I wrote about 2 pages before I forgot about it totally. I had 2 or 3 stories milling around in my brain, and when I wrote it, I didn't have any structure whatsoever. Evidently, I was under the impression that J.K. Rowling simply sneezed out all 7 Harry Potter books. I was totally wrong. Having read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows recently, I realised how much thought has to go into writing a novel. You have to think up every link between every character, how they met, what sort of relationship they have. You have to think up a solid setting, a place, real or imaginary, if it's imaginary then you've made your book writing life harder ten fold.
Don't you see, before this conversation (I'd like to point out that it was a very short conversation) I thought I couldn't write at all. I probably still can't, but the fact is, it's like I've had a new wave of creative ability. Just thinking about my novel when writing this paragraph, I already have a new storyline in my head that sounds to me far better than my previous attempts. It's these little things, like this blog, that make you appreciate living in a modern age where the Internet is your portkey, to use a Harry Potter phrase, to go wherever you want. This is such a cliché part of my blog, and I'm sorry for that, but it's weird. I suddenly feel as if I can write at a half decent level!
It's the little things in life.
I went completely off track with what I meant to talk about at the start. So I'll put it in here - I really do love my blog. It gets my creativity flowing, cliché again, but it really does. I've never written as much as I have in this blog in my life before. Add to the fact that a handful of people actually read it, it's a success in my eyes. Plus, something that the homo-sapien I can't name (I'll call them You-Know-Who from now on, to steal another Harry Potter phrase) said that You-Know-Who thought that if You-Know-Who had, I quote, "like, 12 people following, [they'd] feel good." For me, it's not about that. I love what I'm doing with this blog, I use it to vent my frustrations, to shout my happiness to the world. On a side note, this is by far the cheesiest thing I've ever written, but I don't care. This post has made me feel all happy.
I'll try and write a fair bit over the next few weeks, reader, as I have a lot of free time on my hands. You have been warned, an onslaught of posts is coming to a light bulb near you.
Tuesday 27 July 2010
Tuesday 13 July 2010
These are the things I could live with out. Especially after that piece of shite.
Did you see what I did there? The first half is part of a song that England used as their official World Cup song - Shout by James Corden and Dizzee Rascal, which to be fair, is a tune. However, I flipped it all on its head with the second part, meaning what is normally an influencial song for England leaving them feeling they could've won the World Cup, now means that they didn't as they were a "piece of shite." Well done RBJ, superb creative skills there.
You don't have to read this one, guys - it's about football.
The World Cup.
Let me just start off by saying that, as you've probably guessed, I'm a huge football fan. Let's not beat around the bush here. Football is such a huge part of my life, I always look forward to the next World Cup, or the next European Championship. Hell, as soon as the regular football season is finished, I'm looking forward to the next one, which, incidentally, unofficially starts on Saturday where Chelsea play Crystal Palace in a Friendly. But you couldn't care less about that. Now, however, I think I might cross off looking forward to the World Cup from my list. It was diabolical this summer. Absolutely diabolical. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.
I'd just like to point out that I'm writing this at, to be exact, 2:36 AM on a Tuesday morning. Yes.
I was looking forward to the World Cup for weeks and weeks and weeks. I kept saying "WORLD CUP STARTS NEXT WEEK AAAHHHH", which is me on a normal day. I do shout things. Normally at people, but never in an angry way. Why, you may ask. Well, I personally have no idea. It's just me, shouting is one of my many past times, which regularly increases depending on the time of day, and the situation. But I digress. Yes, I was excited. The first match? I was out. Excellent. But I'd heard it really wasn't a great match at all. So that's not a great start. I seriously believe that I watched 3 matches for the full 90 minutes all the way through. No word of a lie, I could watch Chelsea for days on end, but this international tournament I just wasn't interested. Wimbledon was on at the same time, I found it far more interesting and entertaining to watch that rather than the World Cup.
The 3 matches I did watch all the way through were England's horrificly bad group matches, which they drew, drew and scraped a victory. Seriously, England were seriously terrible. They played 4 matches in the tournament. How many goals did they score? 3. That's a proper shocker. Rooney, second highest scorer in the Premiership, got 0. Lampard, the most prolific midfielder in Premiership history, got 0. England's goalscorers were Steven Gerrard (now, statistically, the worst England captain of all time. Just throwing that into the mix), Defoe and Upson. None of whom are renowned goalscorers. Capello, the England manager, genuinely doesn't have a clue how to manage an international team, for two reasons. 1) He can't speak the language. He basically has to get his translator to do every interview for him. And 2) He's a prize twat. He's an arrogant, self-obsessed (I think they're the same thing, but as you were) Italian shitfaced fuck who thinks he can just waltz into a normally half-decent International team and balls it all right up. He didn't have a clue. He chose the 11 supposed best players, and made them play a standard 4-4-2 formation. For those who have no idea what "a standard 4-4-2 formation" is, I'll draw a diagram below. With the England team that fucked up in the World Cup.
Glen Johnson-----Ledley King-------John Terry-----Ashley Cole
That's how they lined up in the first game of the World Cup, as in they'd be in those positions across the pitch, with the occasional change where, say, Lampard would go further up the field to support Heskey and Rooney. But you couldn't give less of a shit, could you? Thought not. Anyway, they lined up like that. I'll point out the faults.
1) Robert Green. You must know who Robert Green is. Maybe this picture will refresh your memory.
Yeah, that Robert Green. He's normally a good goalkeeper, but he's no where near World Cup standard.
2) Ledley King. Why was he picked in the first place? This is a player who can't even train at all because he has such a fucked up knee. This is a player who can't even have a kick about in his garden with his 5 year old son because he has such a fucked up knee. I'm sure you can see how he was a fault. Incidentally, he got injured during the first half of the first match, and never played again.
3) Frank Lampard & Steven Gerrard. They can't play together. Simple as that. When you put these two in an England team, it's like putting chocolate on a pile of shit. They look the same, but it's just wrong. They're too similar in how they play. By putting those two in the centre of the pitch together, you're cancelling one of their abilities by making him stay back to help defend, because they're both attacking midfielders. Gerrard isn't even a midfielder anymore for Liverpool, he plays as a striker.
4) Emile fucking Heskey. He's the biggest joke ever to grace a World Cup stadium, seriously. He has 62 Caps for England. He's been playing for England a good 10 years or so. How many goals has he got? For a striker, you should bet it's good. Not quite. He's scored 7. 7 goals in 10 years of football? For a striker, he should be embarrassed. Peter Crouch, the 6 foot 7 inch monster of a striker, was only called up to the England squad two years ago, he has maybe 40 Caps, and he's scored more than 20 goals. How does that work out?
5) Fabio Capello. That really is all I have to day. He's a dickhead.
So there you have it. A comprehensive round up of why England were screwed from the beginning. They never had a chance, and everyone thought they could go on to win it. My fucking arse.
The World Cup was, all in all, utter shit. There was hardly any excitement whatsoever over the course of the tournament. Maybe two good games? By the end, I resorted to not watching any of it, and getting goal flashes from my football fanatic brother. Shocking. And, you'd expect the Final would be half decent. I didn't watch it, but my Dad told me it was an absolute disgrace. This tackle sums it up for me.
On request from CrazyDistortion:
Yeah. No joke. He didn't even get sent off for that.
Fuck you, FIFA, for ruining my World Cup experience.
Interesting fact for you: You'd expect my 3AM blog to be full of mistakes. Turns out, I had one spelling mistake. There we are, readers, trust RBJ to end this scathing blog on a high note!
You don't have to read this one, guys - it's about football.
The World Cup.
Let me just start off by saying that, as you've probably guessed, I'm a huge football fan. Let's not beat around the bush here. Football is such a huge part of my life, I always look forward to the next World Cup, or the next European Championship. Hell, as soon as the regular football season is finished, I'm looking forward to the next one, which, incidentally, unofficially starts on Saturday where Chelsea play Crystal Palace in a Friendly. But you couldn't care less about that. Now, however, I think I might cross off looking forward to the World Cup from my list. It was diabolical this summer. Absolutely diabolical. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.
I'd just like to point out that I'm writing this at, to be exact, 2:36 AM on a Tuesday morning. Yes.
I was looking forward to the World Cup for weeks and weeks and weeks. I kept saying "WORLD CUP STARTS NEXT WEEK AAAHHHH", which is me on a normal day. I do shout things. Normally at people, but never in an angry way. Why, you may ask. Well, I personally have no idea. It's just me, shouting is one of my many past times, which regularly increases depending on the time of day, and the situation. But I digress. Yes, I was excited. The first match? I was out. Excellent. But I'd heard it really wasn't a great match at all. So that's not a great start. I seriously believe that I watched 3 matches for the full 90 minutes all the way through. No word of a lie, I could watch Chelsea for days on end, but this international tournament I just wasn't interested. Wimbledon was on at the same time, I found it far more interesting and entertaining to watch that rather than the World Cup.
The 3 matches I did watch all the way through were England's horrificly bad group matches, which they drew, drew and scraped a victory. Seriously, England were seriously terrible. They played 4 matches in the tournament. How many goals did they score? 3. That's a proper shocker. Rooney, second highest scorer in the Premiership, got 0. Lampard, the most prolific midfielder in Premiership history, got 0. England's goalscorers were Steven Gerrard (now, statistically, the worst England captain of all time. Just throwing that into the mix), Defoe and Upson. None of whom are renowned goalscorers. Capello, the England manager, genuinely doesn't have a clue how to manage an international team, for two reasons. 1) He can't speak the language. He basically has to get his translator to do every interview for him. And 2) He's a prize twat. He's an arrogant, self-obsessed (I think they're the same thing, but as you were) Italian shitfaced fuck who thinks he can just waltz into a normally half-decent International team and balls it all right up. He didn't have a clue. He chose the 11 supposed best players, and made them play a standard 4-4-2 formation. For those who have no idea what "a standard 4-4-2 formation" is, I'll draw a diagram below. With the England team that fucked up in the World Cup.
Robert Green
Glen Johnson-----Ledley King-------John Terry-----Ashley Cole
Aaron Lennon----Frank Lampard---Steven Gerrard---James Milner
Emile Heskey----------Wayne Rooney
That's how they lined up in the first game of the World Cup, as in they'd be in those positions across the pitch, with the occasional change where, say, Lampard would go further up the field to support Heskey and Rooney. But you couldn't give less of a shit, could you? Thought not. Anyway, they lined up like that. I'll point out the faults.
1) Robert Green. You must know who Robert Green is. Maybe this picture will refresh your memory.
2) Ledley King. Why was he picked in the first place? This is a player who can't even train at all because he has such a fucked up knee. This is a player who can't even have a kick about in his garden with his 5 year old son because he has such a fucked up knee. I'm sure you can see how he was a fault. Incidentally, he got injured during the first half of the first match, and never played again.
3) Frank Lampard & Steven Gerrard. They can't play together. Simple as that. When you put these two in an England team, it's like putting chocolate on a pile of shit. They look the same, but it's just wrong. They're too similar in how they play. By putting those two in the centre of the pitch together, you're cancelling one of their abilities by making him stay back to help defend, because they're both attacking midfielders. Gerrard isn't even a midfielder anymore for Liverpool, he plays as a striker.
4) Emile fucking Heskey. He's the biggest joke ever to grace a World Cup stadium, seriously. He has 62 Caps for England. He's been playing for England a good 10 years or so. How many goals has he got? For a striker, you should bet it's good. Not quite. He's scored 7. 7 goals in 10 years of football? For a striker, he should be embarrassed. Peter Crouch, the 6 foot 7 inch monster of a striker, was only called up to the England squad two years ago, he has maybe 40 Caps, and he's scored more than 20 goals. How does that work out?
5) Fabio Capello. That really is all I have to day. He's a dickhead.
So there you have it. A comprehensive round up of why England were screwed from the beginning. They never had a chance, and everyone thought they could go on to win it. My fucking arse.
The World Cup was, all in all, utter shit. There was hardly any excitement whatsoever over the course of the tournament. Maybe two good games? By the end, I resorted to not watching any of it, and getting goal flashes from my football fanatic brother. Shocking. And, you'd expect the Final would be half decent. I didn't watch it, but my Dad told me it was an absolute disgrace. This tackle sums it up for me.
On request from CrazyDistortion:
Yeah. No joke. He didn't even get sent off for that.
Fuck you, FIFA, for ruining my World Cup experience.
Interesting fact for you: You'd expect my 3AM blog to be full of mistakes. Turns out, I had one spelling mistake. There we are, readers, trust RBJ to end this scathing blog on a high note!
Saturday 10 July 2010
You're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.
All I have to say is that while I write this, Wizard of Oz is on the Telebox. That's all I have to say on the matter.
My avid readers may be aware that I've actually been blogging for almost two years now, and as I've mentioned on numerous occasions, exams are the main topic of my posts. I am sorry for such a mundane topic to be the focus of my writings, but my life simply isn't entertaining or action packed enough in order to fulfil your high expectations. Sadly though, I have three topics to wet your appetites today, one of which is the dreaded exams.
June 24th was the day I finished my exams, with the incredibly long French exam. And, in all fairness, it could've been a hell of a lot worse. Everyone in my class hated it, whereas I liked it. As a result, I'm insanely worried about what result I'll get when it comes to August 19th. My results have already been decided, whether I get into University or not has already been decided. Scariest thought I've ever had. Nothing I can do about it now though. I'm scared, readers. I'm scared. History, again, could've been much worse, and though the Britain paper was far nicer for me than the Germany paper, I don't think I did disastrously in either of them. I've already bored you with the Drama details in a previous blog, so I won't repeat myself.
The second of my topics, which leads nicely to the third, is the Summer Holidays. When I'd finished my exams, there was a slight lull while we waited for everyone to finish their exams, but as soon as it finished, I was expecting the flood gates to open leading to day after day after day of endless enjoyment - turns out it's not quite like that. Summer is simply a day of fun, and then maybe two or three days of sheer boredom. That's the honest truth, nothing happens! Which is rather frustrating, but it's what I can expect, living off scraps of money seen as finding a job is basically impossible these days. However, soon enough, Rhys Taylor, Ffion Rees, Ellen Morgan, Sarah West, Ieuan Matthews and I are buggering off to Spain for a week, which should be pretty epic.
Finally, due to my continuous imprisonment within the barren walls of my house, I have bounds of free time. I've tried to pass the time by playing on my Xbox, watching some television, watching the odd movie, but to no avail. Especially on school days, my boredom begins from around 2pm, and considering I arise from the land of nod at around 1pm, that really isn't brilliant. So, having become insanely excited having watched the latest Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer (I'll post you a link at the end as it's totally brilliant. Anyone who hasn't seen it doesn't deserve an existence, in all honesty), I've decided to read Deathly Hallows once again. And I never realised how exceptionally well written the book is before. I know the book inside out, but now that I'm taking my time to read every paragraph in great detail, JK Rowling knows how to use a pen. So many things she says are essential to understanding the ending - SPOILER ALERT - for instance, just before "The Wedding", Harry and Ginny have a moment where they kiss even after Harry had finished their relationship at the end of Half-Blood Prince. Soon after, Ron starts shouting at Harry for "messing her about", which means Harry says something along the lines of "Look, it's not as if she wants us to get married or something!" Originally, I saw that as a simple passing comment, but now, you can see how much time and effort JKR put into writing this wondrous series of books. High appraisal to you, Joanne. Also, according to her Twitter, she hasn't updated it in a while as "pen and paper is [her] priority at the moment." Meaning, another Harry Potter epic? Or the rumoured children's series she's working on? I'm hoping the former, as she's now one of the great writers of my generation, I need another new book series to start reading from scratch.
Reading is such an important part of my life. I can't believe I went through a period of literally months without reading anything. What spurred me to do that? I have Deathly Hallows to read at the moment, and then I have a thriller to read called "The Charlemagne Pursuit", which sounds half decent. By the time I finish that, the seventh Artemis Fowl book should be out! Happy days.
God, I love reading.
Oh, I almost forgot, here's the Harry Potter trailer I'm obsessed with!
My avid readers may be aware that I've actually been blogging for almost two years now, and as I've mentioned on numerous occasions, exams are the main topic of my posts. I am sorry for such a mundane topic to be the focus of my writings, but my life simply isn't entertaining or action packed enough in order to fulfil your high expectations. Sadly though, I have three topics to wet your appetites today, one of which is the dreaded exams.
June 24th was the day I finished my exams, with the incredibly long French exam. And, in all fairness, it could've been a hell of a lot worse. Everyone in my class hated it, whereas I liked it. As a result, I'm insanely worried about what result I'll get when it comes to August 19th. My results have already been decided, whether I get into University or not has already been decided. Scariest thought I've ever had. Nothing I can do about it now though. I'm scared, readers. I'm scared. History, again, could've been much worse, and though the Britain paper was far nicer for me than the Germany paper, I don't think I did disastrously in either of them. I've already bored you with the Drama details in a previous blog, so I won't repeat myself.
The second of my topics, which leads nicely to the third, is the Summer Holidays. When I'd finished my exams, there was a slight lull while we waited for everyone to finish their exams, but as soon as it finished, I was expecting the flood gates to open leading to day after day after day of endless enjoyment - turns out it's not quite like that. Summer is simply a day of fun, and then maybe two or three days of sheer boredom. That's the honest truth, nothing happens! Which is rather frustrating, but it's what I can expect, living off scraps of money seen as finding a job is basically impossible these days. However, soon enough, Rhys Taylor, Ffion Rees, Ellen Morgan, Sarah West, Ieuan Matthews and I are buggering off to Spain for a week, which should be pretty epic.
Finally, due to my continuous imprisonment within the barren walls of my house, I have bounds of free time. I've tried to pass the time by playing on my Xbox, watching some television, watching the odd movie, but to no avail. Especially on school days, my boredom begins from around 2pm, and considering I arise from the land of nod at around 1pm, that really isn't brilliant. So, having become insanely excited having watched the latest Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer (I'll post you a link at the end as it's totally brilliant. Anyone who hasn't seen it doesn't deserve an existence, in all honesty), I've decided to read Deathly Hallows once again. And I never realised how exceptionally well written the book is before. I know the book inside out, but now that I'm taking my time to read every paragraph in great detail, JK Rowling knows how to use a pen. So many things she says are essential to understanding the ending - SPOILER ALERT - for instance, just before "The Wedding", Harry and Ginny have a moment where they kiss even after Harry had finished their relationship at the end of Half-Blood Prince. Soon after, Ron starts shouting at Harry for "messing her about", which means Harry says something along the lines of "Look, it's not as if she wants us to get married or something!" Originally, I saw that as a simple passing comment, but now, you can see how much time and effort JKR put into writing this wondrous series of books. High appraisal to you, Joanne. Also, according to her Twitter, she hasn't updated it in a while as "pen and paper is [her] priority at the moment." Meaning, another Harry Potter epic? Or the rumoured children's series she's working on? I'm hoping the former, as she's now one of the great writers of my generation, I need another new book series to start reading from scratch.
Reading is such an important part of my life. I can't believe I went through a period of literally months without reading anything. What spurred me to do that? I have Deathly Hallows to read at the moment, and then I have a thriller to read called "The Charlemagne Pursuit", which sounds half decent. By the time I finish that, the seventh Artemis Fowl book should be out! Happy days.
God, I love reading.
Oh, I almost forgot, here's the Harry Potter trailer I'm obsessed with!
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